"How lucky are we to have someone who is so hard to say goodbye to"

At the end of life, each story is different. Death comes suddenly, or a person may linger and gradually fade. For some older people, the body weakens while the mind stays alert. Others remain physically strong, but cognitive losses take a huge toll.

A peaceful death might mean something different to you than to someone else. Your sister might want to know when death is near so she can have a few last words. Your husband might want to die quickly and not linger. Perhaps your mother has said she would like to be at home when she dies. Of course, often one doesn't get to choose but avoiding suffering, having your wishes followed, and being treated with respect while dying are common hopes.

Although each loss is completely unique, care is an essential part of this time to make sure the person passing-on is as comfortable as possible. At these most difficult of times, we aim to prevent or relieve suffering as much as possible while respecting the dying person's wishes.

Being someone’s carer at the end of their life can be physically and emotionally exhausting. In the end, we accept that we can only do the best we can and hope that the pain of losing someone close to us may be softened a little because we did everything we could.

There are ways to make a person who is dying more comfortable and at peace that friends and family may not think of in the moment, but you can trust an experienced carer to take care of them. Pain and suffering are relatively easy to detect but discomfort can come from a variety of problems which may not be related to their primary condition.

What if you’ve an itch you can’t scratch, what if you’ve got digestive problems, or haven’t cleaned you mouth for a few days and your lips are chapped. Dignity is so crucial at this point and families and loved ones usually have enough to deal with at the time.

Sharing the burden when a loved-one is dying

Many practical jobs need to be done at the end of life—both to relieve the person who is dying and to support the main caregiver - often a friend, neighbour or family member. Everyday tasks can be a source of worry and they can be overwhelming in an emotional difficult time.

Letting somebody take over daily chores around the house and attending to the physical aspects of care can provide some much-needed space for everyone to process the big things that are happening.

If you need support when a loved-one is preparing to pass-on, rest assured that our team of experienced carers is here for you and your loved-one. Give yourself the time, space and reassurance that the end of a life can be an experience of kindness, compassion and dignity.